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Drafty Draft Draft

Updated: Aug 7

Niall


Gk

Ederson and Pickford are 2 stalwarts of the Premier League but unfortunately only one of these 2 is any good. An injury to Ederson will see a very noticeable drop off in points as Everton are fucking shit and will probably be relegated this season. Good first choice keeper though befitting of 1st pick.


Defs

Not sure about this lot, feels like y’man went big elsewhere and let defenders become very much an after thought. Hickey could be good? Llorente won’t be, Ricardo is a good player in a bad team as I would argue Carlos will be this season. Tierney is perma crook so will deliver points when fit but when is the key word there. Perisic feels like the shining light here but Conte is already digging him out and does his old boy legs have what it takes to play wb in the Prem? More importantly does anyone care?


Mid

Ah, now this is what we expect from first pick. Salah is Salah, Odegaard actually has a striker in front of him, Sancho should be much better and Mahrez will see more game time considering Sterling and Jesus have gone so they should all be money this season with calculated punts on Bailey and Olise there to chip in as and when. The other lads will probably play their 3 games sporadically over the season. Best midfield this season? Possibly but what more do you expect from first pick?


Dmf Watch – no actual Dmf which is expected from 1st pick.


Stk

Hmmm. Havertz didn’t score many points last season when he was scored as a midfielder but with Lukaku gone maybe it’ll mean more chances for him? Dunno. Not very sure at all. Last time Mitrovic came up after scoring a shit ton of goals in the championship he proceeded to do fuck all and then spent the rest of the season on the bench until they were relegated and he found his level again. The Forest lad might do alright but in a Chris Woods sort of way and it’s lovely to see D.Welbz find a home.


Best XI – Ederson, Perisic, Tierney, Carlos, Odegaard, Bailey, Salah, Sancho, Mahrez, Olise, Havertz


Overall – Now we’re back up to 10 I have to say this squad, whilst with it’s limitations is a decent first pick squad. A touch light in defence and up front but with a stacked midfield like that you don’t really need anything else. Top of the league and the Championship final is really a minimum expectation for 1st pick.


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Dev


Gk

Alisson is a great pick and understandably Dev has gone for the understudy but this always comes with a risk as all the keeping eggs are in one basket and you end up with a ceiling of how many points you can pick up. If Liverpool have a run of few clean sheets then there’s no where to run, nonetheless one of the best in the league is between the sticks.


Def

Not great here. Gabriel is a decent pick, Fredicks I know nothing of and don’t care to find anything out, Canos is shit but Dev could get lucky as he’s scored as a defender this year, Veltman will bring in some points, James will be played as a RCB as Tuchel is fucking weird and almost certainly molests pets and the others are just meh lads. Dier is probably a decent shout as he seemed a defender reborn under Conte and clean sheets are very Conte.


Mid

Hmmm, during the draft I thought Dev was doing well but looking at the breakdown of his squad I’m not so sure. Bruno could be decent if he pulls his weight but united have options to replace him with now, Gray and Barnes are great mid table, mid level squad fillers, Elanga is a package unknown and if Neves, Jorginho, Joelinton and McGinn score more than 250 points between them I’ll be very surprised.


Dmf Watch – Jorginho and Joelinton. Solid.


Stk

Yeah this squad is trash for second pick. Fucking toilet. Haaland is your boi here and he’ll probably start slow and then score fuck loads of goals with Antonio hitting a crazy man streak at some point but then trailing off into enthusiastic puppy territory for a large portion of the season. Firmino is done at pool and Werner seems like he is offski but even if he stays trying to predict when those points will come in is a mugs game.


Best XI – Alisson, Gabriel, James, Dier, Veltman, Bruno, McGinn, Barnes, Harrison, Haaland, Antonio.


Overall – I really feel this should be better, much better for 2nd pick, looking at the squad he has basically 1 very good player in each department with maybe 2 up top but there should be more, too many nothingy players who will score points but sporadically and easily missed. Feels Goober bound so a good season would be a Neech Cup finish which is pathetic for 2nd pick.

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Rudi


Gk

Same tactic as the lad picking before him. Doubled down on Volves keepers for better or worse. Sa rejoins the champions along with 3 other lads which means King of the Castle must have really enjoyed his performances last year. Good high points scorer but again the inability to shuffle the pack when needed might lead to lost points throughout the season.


Def

Guess who’s back, Matty Cash. The Slough born and bred Polski is another rejoiner and is probably part of the best defence so far. Wait. It’s definitely he best defence as the other 2 teams defences suck. It’s a full back party with Cash, Robertson, Justin, Dalot and Cresswell with 2 very capable CBs in Lenglet and Laporte making up the numbers. Points aplenty here.


Mid

Ugh I think defence might be Rudi’s highlight. Mount is a great pick and one this particular human was sad to see get picked up but move down the list from Mason and where are the points coming from? Vieira? Norgaard? Mac Allister? Dele? Shelvey? Redmond? Soucek? Moutinho? Think we might hit 6 defenders being played pretty early in the season.


Dmf Watch – Soucek


Stk

Kane will be great this season and his points alone should see Rudi finish in the top half, Alvarez has all the potential to excellent too but maybe not really until the back end of this season and or next season. This is when we hit the brick wall and all hope is lost. Not sure the other 4 strikers will score 10 between them but yknow they only need to play 3 times each.


Best XI – Sa, Cash, Robertson, Laporte, Lenglet, Cresswell, Mount, Soucek, Norgaard, Kane, Alvarez.


Overall – Decent squad really, defence is up there forsure, midfield is light on talent and most of those strikers are trash but Harry Kane. Top 4 should be a minimum requirement due to pick position and squad. Plus defending champ always needs to make the playoffs.


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Lee


Gk

Can you ever have too many great keepers? Never is the answer. Probably (no probably about it) the best part of this squad and it lays down a great challenge to the manager to pick the right keeper in the right weeks, clean sheets will be aplenty but more than likely they will all be missed.


Def

Meh. Cancelo is FFY gold, Silva, Saliba and Semedo will bring in a decent return, Anderson will be solid if unspectacular, Malacia and Spence are big ol risks and the less said about Zemura and Dallas the better. Could work out alright but equally could be sham and 70% of these guys live on the bench.


Mid

Trash. Eriksen and Maddison should hopefully be the top boys here but the quality drastically drops off after this. Ramsey will be hoping to carry on his good goalscoring form under Stevie G whilst Fornals will undoubtedly score whenever he isn’t picked, McNeil is a very average player joining a very average team and will have to displace some other very average players before he can think about scoring points and no one really cares about Fulham or Forest players. Fabinho in there to add some solid 2pt performances as and when.


Dmf Watch – Fabinho


Stk

Not sure here, Jesus has all the tools and potential to be a great striker and good lord this team will need the points of a good striker. Jota is no longer scored as a mid so he will have to better his scoring output last season just to equal last seasons points….good job he’s injured for a while then and Che is Che. If you can’t start in that Southampton team then you really are quite pony. At least when shit hits the fan yknow who to call and hope Eddie picks up.


Best XI – Lloris, Silva, Saliba, Semedo, Cancelo, Malacia, Eriksen, Maddison, Ramsey, Jota, Jesus.


Overall – He bottle this one, a pretty much nonsense squad that will rely heavily on a couple of players heaving everyone else onto their backs. Goober bound we thinks.


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Ed


Gk

Martinez and Sanchez. Like these two a lot. Mid table teams who keep clean sheets but also make a lot of saves. Martinez is not the tour de force he was in his first season at Villa but still racks up the points and Brighton under Potter are a stubborn team to break down. Well done Ed. Good job.


Def

Hmmm could be good could be bad. Dias is gold, Maguire is lead, Fofana will probably be filed under good player in a shit team, Kilman will be solid as will Guehi be and Tomi and Johnny will score when fit but again when will define their season more than either would like.


Mid

Some decent players in here. Saka will be looking to continue to build on previous seasons and expect him to outperform last seasons stats, JWP will again flourish as a set piece taker, Benrahma is an odd one, feel like we’re still waiting for him to announce himself, always seems to do well but I still don’t really know if he’s a good player or not. Pulisic, Townsend and James are unknowns mainly as they’ve all had players bought by their clubs in their positions, Bruno G should kick on again from his excellent back end of the season and again who cares about the promoted clubs.


Dmf Watch – Rodri



Stk

2 good 2 bad. Darwin will score a few almost certainly this season and Richarlison should do some things but almost certainly purely from the bench. Mbeumo and Maupay *shrugs shoulders*


Best XI – Martinez, Azpil, Tomi, Dias, Guehi, Saka, JWP, Benrahma, Guimaraes, Darwin, Richarlison


Overall – It’s alright yknow and I feel he’ll be hanging around in 4th-7th probably pushing the top 4 more than anything. If that defence works we might actually see Ed have a decent season for a change.


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Martin


GK

David Guetta and David De Gea. Guetta will play a few games at the start of this season but as soon as Butland and Johnstone are injury free I imagine DDG will be the sole keeper for this team. Solid enough and here’s hoping united learn how to keep a clean sheet soon seeing as it seems they’ve only just learned how to pass a ball to each other.


Def

Ooooohhhhh I think Mary might be swerving into the best defence lane and taking control of it. Zinky Winky, Chilwell, Digne, Romero and Trent has points written all over it and the fact 4 of them are full backs through in the added assist bonuses. Backing them up is Ake, Keane, Emerson Chicken Royale with Kotchap. Good work from 7th pick here.


Mid

It’s a midfield I guess, Grealish and Bowen should bring in a healthy points total now the deck has cleared in front of Grealish a bit at Citeh but the rest doesn’t do much for me. Sinisterra is an unknown, Palhinha a dmf, Tielemans always flatters to deceive and Lingard could be great or could a fucking joke. I know which I hope he is.


Dmf Watch - Palhina


Stk

He took the Ronaldo punt and it really is a gamble as if he leaves then Toney has a lot of points to score by himself because Wood and Undav probably won’t be pulling up any trees. Have to say this team gets gradually worse as you move further up the pitch.


Best XI – DDG, Zinky, Chilwell, Trent, Romero, Digne, Tielemans, Grealish, Bowen, Toney, Ronaldo


Overall – This really all relies on Ronaldo staying but with a defence that ferocious and the man in charge you’ve got to be expecting a top 4 push. If his first XI can stay fit could be an alright year in Oz.


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Toby


Gk

Our only 1 keeper player and if you’re only going to pick 1 keeper you may as well pick Flappyhandski in the 4th round. Why the fuck not eh? I mean he’s a good keeper, well, alright at best but it feels very limiting only having a single keeper on your books similarly to the guys who chose the backup keeper it just feels like you’re not giving yourself any options and are totally dependent on that teams ability to keep clean sheets.


Def

Not too bad really to be honest. Pontus returns from last season mainly as I don’t think Toby knows any other brentford players, Dunk is a solid defender, Mitchell is decent pickup as is Burn and Dawson. Quite a solid backline there. Konate could be a good pick if we were playing Champions League FFY but going on last season he might not see much action, Chalobah also seems to be rather hit and miss when it comes to starting for Chelsea and Ait Nouri is also a backup so we shall see but there are worse defenses in the league forsure.


Mid

There’s a lot of them and a lot to unpack. Son is the shiny jewel in this ranga’s crown and lanzini will be a consistent top end scorer but after that we drop into a world of very talented but very unreliable. Smith Rowe is pure fire when he plays but is constantly having his minutes managed or is injured, Gallagher is going to struggle for minutes at Chelsea so Toby’s best hope is another loan, Gundogan again, if on penalty duty again, can be money but with Philips joining will be used in rotation and DeCordReed is a talent baller but probably won’t pull up any trees scoring wise. After that we hit dmf hour……


Dmf Watch – Klich, Gundogan, Fred, Henderson.


Stk

This could be the best strike force in the league but it could also be a complete washout. Fit and in form the trio of Calvert Lewin, Vardy and Wilson will score you a fuck load of points but like many players it seems this season keeping them fit is going to be tough. Vardy started the game management last season and would be expected to miss as many if not more this season, DCL can’t stay fit for longer than 5 minutes and Wilson is pretty much the same. Hopefully it works out and all the lads can rotate their injuries because it’s quite an exciting forward line.


Best XI – Fabianski, Dunk, Mitchell, Burn, Dawson, Smith Rowe, Son, Gundogan, DCL, Vardy, Wilson


Overall – Firstly, apologies Toby, not sure how I missed your team. Seccondly, I don’t mind this squad and was expecting to be confused and or hate it but I think Tiny has stumbled upon a pretty solid decent squad but…..there’s always a but….a lot depends on the fitness of the players, if they can stay healthy this could a sneaky top 4 challenger.


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Chrish


Gk

There wasn’t much weight put on this particular position and that shows, Chrishy has Leeds number 1 Meslier and West Ham number 2 Areola. Make of that what you will but I can’t see this being a particular profitable position for the new old boy.


Def

It’s ok, pretty solid in a first XI but depth is not kind here. Alonso has already had his replacement purchased, Koulibaly is a decent punt, Martinez is tiny and carrying a massive price tag so could struggle and Davies be in heavy rotation. Pick ups of Varane, VVD and Botman will see a decent return though. It’s a proper back end of the draft collection of punts, hopes and quality.


Mid

This is where FC Blackburn Ravers season will be defined with Martinelli, Coutinho, Eze and KDB being the real stand outs. 4 solid midfielders which will at least probably guarantee some form of assist or goal between each week and if they all kick off in the same week look out for some big ol scores. Trossard is a very underrated player both in the league and our league and no team is set without a dmf with Declan Rice being The Ravers dmf of choice.


Dmf Watch - Rice


Stk

Ings, Ian Nacho and Jimenez. Dat midfield better score some goals because these guys aren’t going to.


Best XI – Meslier, Koulibaly, Varane, VVD, Martinez, Martinelli, Couts, Trossard, KDB, Eze, Ings.


Overall – Welcome back Chrish and a squad that shows you haven’t lost what you never had. It’s essentially the lite version if first pick in the pack the midfield tekkers sort of way. Wonder if those boys drafted together…….I reckon this squad will stay clear of the Goober making it a successful first season back for the man who was hounded out first time round for trying to add some spice to proceedings and some of us getting our knickers in a twist.


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Chris


Gk

Mendy and Henderson are two great pick ups, a top 6 keeper always wins you games and a promoted teams keeper always makes fuck tons of saves. Right up there with the winners of this category.


Def

I like this defence, no real fat to it anywhere but maybe a bit too centre back heavy. Cucurella may have just halved his game time but the upgrade to Chelsea will help his points massively, White, Ajer, Coady, Bednarek and Tarkowski are all solid points winners, Walker is and will always be a great addition and expect him to be involved in every Citeh clean sheet and much like Lee and Arsenal players you can always expect Chris to fill his team with Liverpool dross….enter Tsimikas.


Mid

This could be a really exciting midfield and at the start of last year I would have been swooning hard over it. Zaha, Diaz, Foden, Rashford and St. Max is a tasty lineup but…..BUT……will Zaha do anything other then fall over? Now Diaz is 6 months deep into his Liverpool career will defenders have worked out how to play this ball of chaos better? Can Rashford refind some sort of form and goals? Can St. Max stay fit for 5 mins and pass the ball to his teammates at all? Foden is quality though, 2 years on the trot he’s hooked up with Big Man too. Oh and Harvey Elliot, like all Liverpool youngsters he is the best player to ever come through the academy and will have a few cameos, underwhelm and then expect a promoted team to buy him for £45m and then we’ll never hear from him again because, well, every other Liverpool academy graduate.


Dmf Watch - Bissouma


Stk

So this is bad. Like really bad. Daka, Scamacca and Broja. Not sure what to say really. Daka is a goal scoring sub, Scamacca will be great when West Ham sell him for half the price next summer and Broja isn’t playing for Chelsea so all Big Man can hope is he’s loaned or sold to a prem club.


Best XI – Mendy, White, Cucurella, Walker, Buendia, Zaha, Diaz, Foden, Rashford, St. Max, Daka.


Overall – Look it’s 9th pick, it’s decent for that and is arguably better than a few teams who draft higher (Hi TSFC) so anything north of 9th place is a great season and if luck is on his side and his main players stay fit he could be surprise top 4 entry. No pressure though……just don’t finish below Warren.


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Warren


Gk

You can’t score with every shot and Warren has a 50% hit rate with his two keepers. Ramsdale, great and dependable, should bring in a top end amount of points. Schmeichel, not great and has left the league which was common knowledge to 8 other people drafting (Toby don’t know shit.)


Def

Matip, great. Trippier, great. Coufal, decent. Henry, could be good. Lamptey, should be better. McKenna, who?


Mid

I’m kind of ok with this midfield but only as he’s 10th pick. Sterling is going to score but how many? Everyone is predicting a lot but I feel like England Sterling will turn up not the Man Citeh one, Harry Wilson apparently takes a good free kick but is bang average (see Liverpool academy graduate comments for a better idea) Bernardo could be a magically pick up but also he could leave with this being his 2nd season of doubt but at least someone picked him up this time and Kulu Shaker will be a beast this season if his backend of last season is anything to go on. We’re all still waiting for Neto to do something too, could this be the year? Doubt it to be honest. Oh and there’s some Americans knocking around too due to an American coach thinking it’s an untapped market and not just full of shit players.


Dmf Watch – Romeu.


Stk

Could be good, it really could be good. Watkins will score a few and Martial is getting his 14th chance at united only this time with fuck all competition if Ronnie goes. Oh and Solanke is shit, always has been, always will be.


Best XI – Ramsdale, Matip, Tripps, Coufal, Lamptey, Sterling, Bernardo, Kulu, Neto, Watkins, Martial.


Overall – I’ve seen a lot worse from 10th pick and from Warren so that should bode well but I guess that’s normally when Wally smashes it out of the park. Free hit this season really for him and he’s drafted so much from the backend that this should be second nature to him. As I said it’s a free hit so no expectations just plenty of chances to mock everyone above him.


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