Team of the Week
GW32
Ho Ho Hold on. What is this? After months and months of appearing in the Chump section of these hallowed pages and after losing more games in a row than the top 4 put together Rudi and his team of misfits have finally broken their streak and not only won a game but did it in style with force and the brutality of a team that’s been flying for weeks. 54pts scored, 1st pick dispatched and finally….FINALLY 3pts gained for Rudi. 6 different players scored extra points and 2 players hit double figures. Unbelievable scenes.
GW33
The Ravers were out partying in full force this weekend. Chrish took no mercy in dispatching Niall this week in a thumping 62 v 29 win. San Andreas and Carlton Palmer did the damage with 15 and 26pts respectively whilst he also managed to field 4 players who scored 0. Pretty wild scoring week for his team but as he battles Big Man for the last place in mid table mediocrity every win will mean a lot even if it’s means holding one of his closest friends head under water until his body stops twitching.
Match of the Week
GW32
Let’s go with the men who share a lot of the same first name. Chrish and Chris battled hard to a pathetic 24v 27. Ultimately this game was actually shit but the scores were close so that’s enough for me this week.
GW33
As the season trundles on this part of the review becomes harder and harder to fill mostly as I really stop caring so with that none of our games seemed to be that entertaining so Newcastle v Spuds can feature here instead. When life gives you lemons generally Spuds are good for a giggle.
Player of the Week
GW32
We’re edging closer to Chump of the week and this section should lead nicely into it. KDB was the highest score this week with 18 points and his FFY team mate Havertz was close to him with 14pts. Both really great scores and enough to essentially win any game for any team apart from a team who can’t win a game because they didn’t submit a team twice in a row……
GW33
A Gordon thought it might be his time to shine, Andreas and Bruno gave it a good go but ultimately no one got near epic comb over king Cole Palmer. For what he lacks in hair follicles it seems he makes up for it in goals/penalties. I saw a stat which said he was involved in something like 54% of all Chelsea’s goals this season which in itself is just fucking ridiculous mainly as I still don’t quite believe he’s as good as a lot people make out but he has definitely taken advantage of being the only competent player in a team full of rather expensive wastemen.
Chump of the Week
GW32
This is a 2 parter. Part 1. Warren Mallia. If you rock up to a Brothers Derby and your team decimates your younger brother by a score of 59 v 31 and 3 of your players are in with a shout for player of the week at least make sure your score can count for yourself and not just be a wall for Mart to smash his head against as he tries to take the 3 points. Wallys biggest score all season and it only counts to make sure his bro can’t win the game, in a race for the playoffs this is a massive massive error and one that does look like it will cost him dearly.
Part 2. Fuck you Dev for breaking the streak. Everything in the game this season should be in your favour and you do us all dirty like that. Fuck you. FUCK YOU.
GW33
5 of these cunts this. 5 players scored minus points and they all get named and shamed here. Step forward Micky Van der Ven Diagram, George A. Romero, Miykolenko, Tarkowski and Ashley Fucking Young. Genuinely can’t believe that it’s 2024 and Young and his stupidly long arms is still playing and is being selected by one of our players on a regular basis.
Dawkins of the Week
GW32
I’m half tempted with putting in Spurs’ Icelandic ringer Maddisson because it’s a stupid fucking typo that appears every week but it’s not really in keeping with this accolade so I’ll say no more.
GW33
Feeling it might be time to retire this section for the rest of the season or am I tempting fate…..
Thread Contribution of the Week
There's a chance this could be Thread Contribution of the Season.
No chill.
