GW1 Review

Come one, come all and step inside my odd Imaginarium of wordy wonders all based around the happenings of things we can’t control but invest our emotions in far too deeply.

Team of The Week

AC Barella are back in big bad way. After 2 years winning and making it all the way to the final last year it might be time to put some respect on the big mans name but we won’t. Ever. Nope. Not a chance. Seems these mooks might be even more unstoppable this year considering Rudi’s love for big strong boys who are hard and throbbing in the tackle and the FPL’s new remit to award points for defensive contributions. We want flair and goals to decide our matches I hear you cry! Well Rudi delivered that too with Semenyo dropping 15 of ACB’s 56 points this week. Solid start and marker laid down.

Match of The Week

Let’s say this was Mary FC v TSFC this week, it wasn’t thrill a minute by any stretch of the imagination and it was technically over after the 9^th match of the GW but the scores were close, both teams left players on the bench which could have changed the game and this is quite a difficult section to fill with any sense of entertainment.

Player of The Week

We’ve said his name before and we’ll say it again, well done Semenyo on being our first PoTW. 15pts, 2 goals at Anfield and suffered the hilarious indignity of being racially abused by some lad in a wheelchair. You couldn’t write it really and hopefully he responded with something along the lines of “I may be black but at least my dick works you fucking mongoloid.” Maybe not word for word but something to that effect.

 Close behind was a dastardly trio of Haaland, Rich and Carl’s Son and Wood with 13pts so Semenyo is a double hero as fuck those 3.

Chump of the Week

Oh Niall, this is not a great start. 18pts and 48 conceded is a hell of a beating in the opening weekend. 3 players not starting, 7 attacking players contributing the square root of fuck all and the misery of Richarlison scoring 13 against you. How about next time maybe a little less time spent on making your friends very happy with wonderful games and more time spent on your draft? Fool.

Quelle Surprise of The Week

New segment bitches! This is for just something that happened in the GW that surprised/didn’t surprise me or you or all of us. For example what a surprise that no one knows what fucking team Pep is going to pick.  No Ederson, no Akanji, no Ake, no Marmoush, no Cherki and Bernardo starting at 10. Get it? Good. This weeks QS is that for all Ed’s moaning about his shit team last season he scored exactly the same in the first GW that he played last season as he did in his first GW this season with a squad picked in order….oh and he also scored substantially less that Wally did who was in the same position as him last season. Quelle Surprise!

Dawkins of The Week

Someone called Adams wins this this week. I thought he was Leeds, he’s not, Brentford apparently. Almost certain I’m going to forget that instantly too.